As a reminder, I like watching movies — and trailers about movies — but I’m also lazy and spending an awful lot of time in Mass Effect: Andromeda at the moment, so here’s a five-point review for the new Justice League trailer.
- With very few exceptions, Zack Snyder has been trying to make the same movie over and over again and he still doesn’t understand why we don’t love him for it. His grimdark, chaotic, “bros will be bros” artistic vision was okay in The 300 when it was new and we didn’t think about it too much, but at this point it feels pretty tired. For whatever reason DC Comics has embraced this idea across their feature film platform, perhaps as a response to the more squeaky clean blockbuster shine of the Marvel movies, but again I feel it’s kind of a non-starter at this point. It didn’t work for Suicide Squad, and that’s the movie where it should have worked the best. Stop trying to make Crank-With-Superpowers happen, Gretchen.
- Maybe I’m just old, but I’m kind of feeling tired, middle-age Batfleck. Rumor has it that the actor has mentally checked out of these movies, but it’s thematically appropriate. In a related point, why does Batman have machine guns oh my god you guys Batman doesn’t kill people. That’s his whole jam! Even in the Chris Nolan movies he just blew up conspicuously empty parked cars! NO THANK YOU.
- I sure hope the digital effects on Cyborg look better in the final film. (This is another Snyder-ism. I know, practical effects are for old people, Zack, but they can also look a lot less shimmery.)
- Do I have to watch Batman v. Superman to know why the leader of the Justice League isn’t in this, a Justice League movie? Because I’m not going to.
- I hope Wonder Woman and her associated movie are good, but sign me up for 2018’s Aquaman flick and two hours of Jason Momoa jumping around time-tridenting things in the face and dropping sweet burns on rich old dudes. Mmmmmhmmmm.